Claiming Your Place at the Fire - Living the Second Half of Your Life on Purpose

Description: Claiming Your Place at the Fire - Living the Second Half of Your Life on Purpose by Leider Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go. FORMAT Paperback LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Publisher Description A practical guide to living your later years with wisdom and purpose, featuring inspiring stories and thought-provoking exercises.When we claim our place at the fire, we enter into the circle of vital elders who have been the source of wisdom in society since time immemorial. We do this by courageously reexamining and rediscovering who we are, where we belong, what we care about, and what our lifes purpose is.Claiming Your Place at the Fire invites you to approach the second half of your life as an empty canvas, ready to be filled with a new and vibrant sense of purpose. It shows you how to stoke the wisdom youve gained to burn more brightly to light the way for yourself and others. Through stories and exercises, you will learn to look at yourself with new eyes and answer four key questions-Who am I?Where do I belong?What do I care about?and What is my purpose Author Biography Richard J. Leider is a founding partner of The Inventure Group, a coaching and consulting firm in Minneapolis. A National Certified Career Coach, he has been helping people to discover their lifes purpose for more than thirty years.David A. Shapiro is Education Director of the Northwest Center for Philosophy for Children, a non-profit organization that brings philosophy and philosophers into the lives of young people through literature, philosophical works, and group activities.Together Leider and Shapiro have coauthored the bestselling books Repacking Your Bags and Whistle While You Work. Table of Contents Invitation to the Fire Prologue At the Fireside: The New Elder Introduction The Four Flames of Vital Aging Chapter 1: The Flame of Identity: Recalling Our Stories Chapter 2: The Flame of Community: Refinding Our Place Chapter 3: The Flame of Passion: Renewing Our Calling Chapter 4: The Flame of Meaning: Reclaiming Our Purpose Epilogue: Keeping the Fire Alive Notes Index About the Authors Review "This is a book that will comfort anyone afraid of growing old. It sheds new light on vital aging." —Walter F. Mondale, former Vice President, Senator and Ambassador "As a generation, baby boomers have long been called the rat in the python. Claiming Your Place at the Fire challenges us to be the python, not the rat—and to start by shedding our generational skins. This book is thoughtful, warm, helpful, and above all else, wise." —Alan M. Webber, Founding Editor, Fast Company Review Quote "This is a book that will comfort anyone afraid of growing old. It sheds new light on vital aging." --Walter F. Mondale, former Vice President, Senator and Ambassador "As a generation, baby boomers have long been called the rat in the python. Claiming Your Place at the Fire challenges us to be the python, not the rat--and to start by shedding our generational skins. This book is thoughtful, warm, helpful, and above all else, wise." --Alan M. Webber, Founding Editor, Fast Company Excerpt from Book Introduction The Four Flames of Vital Aging Living on Purpose in the Second Half of Life In our earlier book, Repacking Your Bags: Lighten Your Load for the Rest of Your Life, we developed a definition of the "good life" that included four components: place, people, work, and purpose. We defined the good life as "Living in the place you belong, with people you love, doing the right work, on purpose." While this definition applied to people who were in the first half of their lives, weve found it to be no less pertinent to individuals who are entering into the second half. In the second half of life, the same questions that drive our conception of the good life during the first half inevitably return. Who am I? Where do I belong? What do I care about? What is my lifes purpose? Only now, in the second half, we have a unique opportunity to be the author of our own story. We have a chance to rewrite it, rather than simply replicate the first half. It has become clear to us that becoming a new elder demands a rekindling of the good life. It requires drawing upon the wisdom we have gained in the first half. 3 With the four components of the good life in mind, we have been able to identify four common principles among those seasoned citizens who are becoming new elders--individuals who are living on purpose in the second half of their lives. These principles have become apparent as weve observed the indicators around us. Unfortunately, unlike the Hadza, we have no Honey Guide to guide us. We have had, however, the good fortune to witness dozens of new elders-- our own Honey Guides--in action. Their choices, behaviors, and ways of moving through the world have enabled us to identify the "four flames of vital aging"--the key components of a life lived on purpose during the second half. These new elders have rekindled the good life for the second half. They have stoked the fire within and are sharing its warmth and light with others. This fire metaphor does not arise by accident. It emerges naturally out of an ongoing exploration of what it means to be truly human. After all, nothing is more essential to the human experience than the experience of fire. Fire connects us to the deepest core of our shared humanity. Our most distant ancestors depended upon fire for their survival; our most distant descendents, like us, will employ fire in some form in order to live. The use of fire is quite literally what separates human beings from non-human beings. It is this understanding of the vital role that fire plays in our humanity that has given rise to the myths and stories of fire among indigenous peoples. One of the most common ways that we talk about vitality is in terms of "keeping the fire alive." For this reason--as well as for the abiding role fire plays in linking past, present, and future--the fire theme naturally emerges in our story of new elders. Each of the four key principles of new elders is embodied in a characteristic of fire. In claiming our place at the fire as new elders, we claim each of these aspects ourselves. 4 1. The Flame of Identity: Recalling Our Stories Principle: Wisdom Firestarter Question: Who Am I? New elders harvest and transfer the wisdom of the past into the present. They know the important narratives of their culture, whatever that culture is. Joseph Campbell said, "The first requirement of any society is that its adult membership should realize and represent the fact it is they who constitute its life and being . . . and on which that society itself must depend for its existence." Elders teach by story. But it isnt simply recalling stories about "the good old days." Rather, it is an ability to touch the lives and lived experience of others through their own experiences in a manner that brings it alive in the present, through the past. 2. The Flame of Community: Refinding Our Place Principle: Intimacy Firestarter Question: Where Do I Belong? New elders know where they belong in the world; they have a powerful sense of place--where they have come from, where they are, and where they are going. Consequently, they are able to reaffirm who they are for the journey ahead; grounded in the rich history of their first half, they feel alive to the challenges of the second half. 3. The Flame of Passion: Renewing Our Calling 5 Principle: Caring Firestarter Question: What Do I Care About? Perhaps no challenge is greater for people in the second half of life than to find something meaningful and valuable to do with their gifts. New elders consistently meet that challenge by applying their gifts in support of young people and the community at large. New elders care passionately about those who follow in their footsteps. They find deep satisfaction in giving their gifts in new ways that serve others rather than just themselves. And they accept this as a critical responsibility of their elderhood. Consequently, new elders are all about "giving it away." They know that a person is strong not in proportion to what he or she can hold on to, but rather, according to what the person can give up. This doesnt necessarily mean they are free-spending philanthropists when it comes to money; it does, however, usually mean they are extremely generous with advice, counsel, and support. While elders may hold important positions in life, they realize that real power stems from the willingness and ability to share it with others. They see wisdom as something that is inherent within everyone and, like the ancient philosopher Socrates, are passionate about helping to inspire that depth of wisdom within those around them. 4. The Flame of Meaning: Reclaiming Our Purpose 6 Principle: Meaning Firestarter Question: What Is My Legacy? New elders know "why they get up in the morning," and it isnt just because their alarm clock goes off. As a matter of fact, for many new elders, the alarm that dragged them out of bed for so many years has been permanently retired. Freed up from imposed schedules, they now find the freedom to make their own. And with that freedom, they are enthusiastically greeting the day, fired up about all they can do at last. These new elders burn with the beacon that guides them: their purpose. They light the way for themselves and for others to follow. The incandescence of such elders is powerfully illuminating. As they forge ahead, lit by the fire of purpose, they light the way into the future. The four flames of vital aging represent choices available to all of us. We can make those choices no matter what age or stage we are in life. And while they are no doubt choices that lend themselves more naturally to those of us in the second half of life, new elders are by no means the elderly. In fact, as we may realize, it is often aging, or the fear of it, that prevents many of us from ever really becoming elders. Now, more than ever, we need new elders among us. New elders are natural resources that are needed today by the family, the community, the organization, and the Earth. We cant wait for the wise ones to come. We need to become the new elders. It is incumbent upon us to accept the mantle of becoming new elders for ourselves, our loved ones, and the planet as a whole. Stepping into the Elder Circle In his powerful account of age and aging, Ram Dass discusses an activity called an Elder Circle, which he does with people in the second half of life to help them appreciate their power and wisdom. Employing a form common to traditional cultures, he invites the oldest members of groups he brings together to sit in the inner circle and share their wisdom with the younger members, who sit around them in an outer circle. He reports that many of the elders who take part in this exercise say that it is the first time their wisdom has ever been appreciated. In Ram Dasss words, "Because it does not know what to do with older people, our society has become impoverished of precisely those qualities its elders could offer. Unfortunately, most elders dont know, themselves, what it is they have to offer." Our intention in this book is similar to what Ram Dass does in that exercise. We hope to provide you with a framework for coming to respect and appreciate your own power-- a power of purpose that grows with age. To claim ones power as a new elder, a certain amount of reflection upon the past is necessary. The lessons learned in the first half of life must be revisited and reapplied to the second half. This book is structured to help you do that. In the next chapter, The Flame of Identity: Recalling Our Stories, we explore the guidance that the power of narrative gives us as we wonder "Who Am I?" As we are becoming new elders, it is incumbent upon us to harvest the wisdom we have gained during the first half of life in order to sow its seeds for the second half. Recalling the stories that make us (and which have made us) who we are sets the context for connecting and reconnecting with friends, family, and community members. We are thus better positioned to expand upon and share our wisdom with others as new elders. 8 Chapter 2, The Flame of Community: Refinding Our Place, addresses the question "Where Do I Belong?" Becoming a new elder offers us a unique opportunity for reexamining our place in the world. This chapter guides us by helping us to wonder what makes a place "home" and what we can do to create a sense of sacred space for the second half of life. Chapter 3, The Flame of Passion: Renewing Our Callin Details ISBN1576752976 Short Title CLAIMING YOUR PLACE AT THE Pages 168 Language English ISBN-10 1576752976 ISBN-13 9781576752975 Media Book Format Paperback Year 2004 Imprint Berrett-Koehler Subtitle Living the Second Half of Your Life on Purpose Place of Publication San Francisco Country of Publication United States Illustrations index Series Berrett-koehler DOI 10.1604/9781576752975 AU Release Date 2004-09-12 NZ Release Date 2004-09-12 US Release Date 2004-09-12 UK Release Date 2004-09-12 Narrator Ann Dowd Birth 1939 Affiliation Professor of Psychiatry, University of Geneva Position Illustrator Qualifications PsyD Author Leider Publisher Berrett-Koehler Publication Date 2004-09-12 DEWEY 650.1 Audience General We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. With fast shipping, low prices, friendly service and well over a million items - you're bound to find what you want, at a price you'll love! 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